Lunch with Emmy

This video is rated PG for Pretty Gross.  ;-)  Mary suggested R for Revolting…

Saying Good-bye to Tracy

When I was in 11th grade, I was attacked by a pothead named Tracy…in the middle of English class. All my life, I have had a gift for saying or doing something that evokes extreme dislike in some quarter. It takes a real talent to achieve that. We were doing a segment on public speaking in English, and the teacher had us move to the auditorium to give a short, persuasive talk on a particular topic of our choice. I was a Young Republican at the time (it was a youth group sponsored by the Republican Party), wearing my Izod and Docksiders like the best preps in town. The election was coming up in ‘84, and I was a Reaganite through and through.

Well, Tracy got up and made her way to the podium where she delivered a rambling and incoherent attack on President Reagan. I remember being surprised that she even knew who was President at the time. Her main thrust, if you can call it that, was that Reagan hated poor people and was going to start World War III by throwing, and she did use the term “throwing”, nu-Q-lar bombs at everybody. She lurched unsteadily back to her seat to the loud cheers of the two other cannabis users down front.

Next up was Paul, a serious-minded and intelligent guy who gave his ten-minute speech on the necessity of bringing down communism and why Ronald Reagan was the President who would do it. (He was right.) He sat down after his well-prepared speech, and I gave him a thumbs up with a smile to say, “good job!” He smiled back at me.

Well, Tracy didn’t like that thumb’s up thing. She REALLY didn’t like it. She got up from her seat and came after me, screeching like a banshee. She grabbed my hair in her two fists (I had long hair at the time) and started yanking my head around. I fought back, kicking at her to get her away and grabbing her wrists, but she was bigger than I was and clearly under the influence of a controlled substance.

I remember seeing the elderly teacher looking dumbfounded as the tussle was going on. I finally extricated myself from the wild-eyed Tracy and headed out the door, grabbed my coat in my locker and went home. I couldn’t find my bus pass so I walked through the slush the whole way, wondering at my talent for attracting the Tracys of this world.

Blogging on anything controversial is to court a whole bunch of Tracys. I did that for several years, and let me tell you, they were 5 years too many. Just hosting a radio program will do it, too. I recently featured a book that was an overview of Christian history for lay people. Yesterday, weeks after the show, I received a scathing email from a listener who accused me of several intellectual and theological crimes, because the book in question did not reflect as favorably as he would have liked on his particular denomination. His email grew increasingly insulting and finished with a final blast that questioned my IQ numbers. It was Tracy all over again.

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen, goes the saying. Well, I never let the Tracys of this world stop me when I have something I feel needs to be said. Not now, not ever. But I do believe that there is a season for everything, and I am glad that the season in which I presently find myself in is different than that of even a year ago. I have been doing programs on political and controversial religious issues for many years and writing about the same. There was a time for me to do that, but times have changed. Others can carry on who haven’t been in the trenches as long as I have been. There’s a time to get away from the Tracys of this world and take on a different type of work. The culture wars really are raging, but I know that I’ve done all that I could. More than that, I can’t do.

The difficulty is in finding out who you are outside of that context. If you’ve done something for your entire adult life, making a change is not easy. It’s something I’ve been mulling over. When most of your relationships existed in and through your former work, what do you do when you no longer have that? It can be difficult to accept that those relationships really weren’t Christian friendships at all – just working contacts. It’s painful. But all change can be that way at first. We never know what God has down the new path when we hit that fork in the road, but we can rest assured that it’s the best thing for us. We simply have to be patient and trust.

Prayer Request

*Thank you for your prayers. Mom had two stents put in yesterday and went home this afternoon.

My mom, Freda Eliason, went to the ER last night with chest pain. Today they found out that half of her heart is not getting enough oxygen. Mom’s been a prayer warrior most of her life for others and now she needs prayer herself. Thanks to anyone who will remember her in prayer. Tomorrow she gets catheterization and stent, possibly surgery, depending on what blockage they find. Mom is very dear to us.

Sunday Journal

Things are hopping here, as usual. Emily is turning into a very chubby (emphasis on very), rollicking baby. Her latest thing is to give little piercing random screams, and she has a laugh that makes us all smile. She’s 18 pounds, and I seriously wonder how I am going to lift her as she gets bigger. I figure, however, that if I did things the right way, I could use her for exercise, or Emmy-cise, as it were. A few dozen, disciplined lifts of her a day would increase my “core strength” as the popular fitness phrase goes. Then again, if the back goes, Emmy-cise may be self-defeating.

A few months ago, I posted about a book about how to be a good mother-in-law. It looks like I’ll be getting to put some of the advice into use. Over Christmas, our son Samuel got engaged to Laura Powers. Sam graduates in May from college and will be moving to Colorado Springs right after that to prepare for an August wedding. Em will be a sister-in-law and only 13-months old! Sam is a serious-minded and committed Christian, as is Laura, and we wish God’s richest blessings on their life together. I’m looking forward to having a lovely daughter-in-law in the family. Mary is thrilled to have been asked to be a bridesmaid and William will be an usher, so he’ll have to practice his ushering moves. Jon will be a groomsman, and I think he’ll look very sharp in a tux. Life comes with so many twists and turns, but I’m thankful for God’s guidance and help in every phrase of it.

The days are getting longer already. It makes me very happy to type those words! I am so looking forward to opening the window, taking walks outside with Em in the stroller (now that’ll be good exercise in our hilly neighborhood) and just having the warmth again. I love the seasons in the North, but winter does seem to be the longest one of all. Last summer feels like it didn’t happen as because of being on bed rest. Lord willing, I will make up for it this year by being outside as much as possible. It’s hard to believe that Emmy will be likely walking by then! The fun will really start then. Emmy-cising will take on a brand new meaning.

One other random note. Will is starting a Shakespeare class tomorrow that lasts until March. They’re studying Hamlet at a local Lutheran school, and they’ve opened it up to home educators. He’s really looking forward to it. The course culminates with a medieval feast, which sounds interesting. Maybe they will eat roasted wild boar and dress like knights and damsels with pointy, Elizabethan headgear. Hopefully, he’ll learn a lot and enjoy time with the other middle-schoolers. They meet three times a week, so I’m going to be taxi-mom at a whole new level! Will commented that he was busy every day with something this semester. It’s true. Those who think homeschooling means kids are stuck at home don’t have any idea of how much is available now, and that’s a wonderful thing.

I’m working on getting more organized. Mary is now my new homeschooler, and her curriculum is arriving this week. We’re rolling up our sleeves to get on track, and she’s ready to launch in, so here we go. 2010 promises to be anything but dull!

From Romania: “All Hail the Power of Jesus Name!”

In our daughter’s Romanian homeland, where Christ-hating communists tried to crush out the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, today they openly sing His name. Rev. Richard Wurmbrand could not have imagined this scene at their national opera house when he was being tortured for 14 years in Romanian prisons for preaching Christ. To hear them sing, “To HIM all majesty ascribe, and crown HIM Lord of all!” is pure joy. The gates of hell will not prevail against the true Church. Crown Him!

Lois and Daniel Prunaru sing at the Romanian National Opera.

Baby Questions *Update*

I am delighted to report progress on two fronts with the baby of the household. (This is an update to my earlier post “Baby Questions.”) This morning (sound the trumpets) she ate half a cup (slightly over) of rice cereal with peaches! Somebody call CNN and Associated Press, I’ll be doing media on this. She has started waking up at midnight this week for an extra feeding, so I felt the time was right to try again today. Just think of all those wonderful things God has made that she’ll now get to taste. I think I’ll wait on the Mexican cuisine, though.

A second area of progress is the napping during the day. Last week, I decided to watch her closely as to when she got drowsy and snoozed for any length of time. I figured out that around 11 was her first time and the second was around 3:30. I have been putting her down consistently at those times and she’s sleeping a good hour, sometimes more in late afternoon. I have to watch the late afternoon nap so it doesn’t get too long which pushes her bedtime back.

So, the world may be in chaos, America on the decline and all that, but in my world today, I am glad today over a couple of things.

The Devil’s Chief Tool

The devil was auctioning off his tools. He had a high price on pride, laziness, arrogance, hate, envy, and jealousy. But there was one tool that had a sign under it, “NOT FOR SALE.”

Someone said, “What is that tool and why isn’t it for sale?” “Well,” he said, “I can’t afford to get rid of that one. It’s my chief tool, called ‘discouragement.’ With this tool, I can pry open a heart and once I get in I can do most anything I want.”

Do you know why you get discouraged? In a nutshell- you’ve taken your eyes off God!

My eyes are ever toward the LORD… Psalm 25:15

Are you discouraged? If not, praise God! And find someone who is so that you can give them the encouragement they need in Jesus Christ.

–Adrian Rogers

Mom’s Girls

Mary turned 14 this weekend.

Mary took this photo of Emmy.

The Need for Escape

Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger,
you may see a stranger
Across a crowded room…

I don’t know about the enchanted part, but when you have children, lots of children, some evening you may see a stranger across a crowded room and realize it’s your spouse.

How can couples keep connected when the pressures and demands of work and family continually war against it? Recent studies have shown that marriages today are seriously suffering from detached spouses who are too stressed out to have private time together with each other.

America’s child-centered homes don’t help. It’s considered normal for parents to spend their waking hours shuttling kids to everything from yoga  to Peruvian throat singing lessons with little thought about the net effect on family life and the life of a marriage in particular. But let’s face it: You don’t have to be too child-centered to realize that kids take up a huge part of your time and energy. That’s what you sign up for when you have children.

I love my children and have invested my life in them. Being involved with my children is fundamentally important to me. But truth be told, it is difficult to achieve a balance sometimes. Children are so, shall we say, pervasive. They don’t sit neatly on a shelf until called for. At times, they seem to have the gift of omnipresence. This is the challenge for couples. It calls for decisive action at times to not be pulled under with the constant drama and issues that go along with having a family.

So what is the decisive action? Take off. Escape. Find a way. For me, it’s a mental health saver. Working from home, I am rarely gone from the house. I escape for coffee in the morning as often as I can, and in my trusty van, I can think, pray, plan, or cry on the telephone to Tom about the latest “situation.”

Tom and I have tried the escape plan numerous times over the last few years. Now that we have young adults at home, it is far easier to execute. Years ago, it didn’t work so well. I remember one time when we’d made reservations for a resort an hour away and things didn’t go as planned.  Walking paths with charming little garden seats. Room service. A library with leather chairs by windows overlooking a lake…you get the whole beautiful picture. Well, Will came down with a virus, and was on nebulizer treatments. He was only 3 at the time, and I hated to leave him with anyone because of his wheezing. So we took him along. I spent the weekend watching Tom setting up new arrangements of Thomas the Tank Engine track on the hotel room floor. Not exactly the break we had hoped for. (Will had a blast, however!)

There is a story too sad to tell of an ultimate getaway that Tom and I planned after years of thinking about it. Let’s just say that airline tickets had been purchased from Chicago to London, ferry schedules from Dover to Calais had been figured out, hotel reservations made, organ concerts at King’s College Chapel in Cambridge and Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris had been pegged, and then…well, as I said, it’s a story too sad to tell, but a serious issue with one of our children ended that. (We did get an airline credit for part of the ticket price, however.)

Sometimes, escape moments can be so overshadowed by stresses and pressures that they aren’t exactly a singing success. Tom and I like to go to Chicago for various musical events, and one of our junkets turned disastrous as we were snarled in Chicago traffic and then missed the exit for Ravinia Festival Park. We’d gotten some superb tickets for a violin recital with Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg, and it looked like we were about to miss it. I was furious about Tom’s driving, which made his driving worse, and we finally  tottered down the aisle to our seats with seconds to spare. I want to say that I enjoyed it, but truthfully, I spent the concert recovering from the trip and being distracted by numerous issues plaguing my mind. It was simply a getaway that wasn’t.

All parents need to keep trying for those escape moments anyway, however, even if they get thwarted. Tom and I have far better success with modest getaways. When the kids were younger, we got in the habit of going out to dinner, and when we’d get home, we’d pull into the garage, hit the button to close the garage door, turn the engine off and keep right on talking. The kids would be hanging out the door, asking when we were coming in, but we’d wave them away. In our car, with everybody locked out for a brief time, we could finish our conversation in peace. We joked that a garage date was the cheapest kind you can have. Seriously, it doesn’t take money to just take a drive, and that, my friends, is better than nothing.

Families are strongest when marriages are strongest. It’s amazing what even a couple of hours away can do to restore a good frame of mind. Sometimes, I am so stressed out that I think I can’t even verbalize it. But then we drive away from it all for a little while, talk and laugh about things, we usually come back in a better frame of mind to face the challenges. It isn’t easy to carve out time, but our marriages are worth the effort.

Baby Questions

Calling all experienced mothers of infants…

I would like to get the advice of mothers regarding infant scheduling and naps and solid foods. Sometimes, even though I have had four babies, I feel like a new mother. It’s been 13 years since my last baby, and much has been lost to the mists of time.

Question number one involves nap times for nearly 6-month-old babies. I know that every baby is different, but Emmy is my only baby to not fall into a pattern of napping morning and afternoon. She’s all over the map. Is there any way to remedy that? My other babies seemed to establish a pattern of a two hour nap or so in the morning, about 10am, and then again about 2pm until 4 or so.

Emmy will sleep half an hour or doze on and off  in her swing, but has no clearly established boundaries for napping, even though I put her down. She sleeps really well through the night, but daytimes are chaotic for her. Any suggestions from veteran mothers? I have decided to put her down mid-morning and keep her there for a specified time to encourage a schedule of sleeping, but hearing her roar, I’m wondering if this strategy will work.

Question two involves solids. The doctor seems unconcerned that she despises solids. I wasted an entire box of rice cereal, a few tablespoons at a time, trying to get her to take it. She gags, she chokes, she launches it back, even when she’s really hungry and even when I mix in a little applesauce. My other babies all took all kinds of things by 6 months. I have tried a feeder instead of a spoon, and tried making the rice cereal pretty thin, but I’ve only had success with that once. I guess patience is the name of the game.

The pediatrician told me that babies are not crawling now before they walk because they are put on their backs so much. I saw a recent article about how babies have flat heads commonly now as a result. Tummy time is really crucial. Emily is only now starting to turn over, whereas my earlier children, prior to the back-sleeping-only advice were doing so at 4 months.

I have to laugh at myself some times. I remember as a new mother, aged 20, my friends with babies would say something like, “Oh, Caitlyn is doing such and such already…isn’t Charlie?” I’d despair, thinking I had failed my baby son because he wasn’t playing Chopin by 8 months or whatever. I’m back to my old thinking again. I heard someone say that their baby had passed a certain developmental milestone the other day, and I gulped. “Oh no! Emmy hasn’t done that. All is lost!” I should know better, but I’ve come full circle, back to where I was at 20.

Babies all have their own timetable. They are certainly fascinating to watch. Emily is starting to get over her fear of trumpets and radios. Sam pulled out his bagpipe chanter the other day and started to play a few notes in his bedroom. Emily started to shriek in terror down the hallway. After seeing it was just her good brother Sam making the noise, however, she calmed down and started watching him. I don’t think he will be playing Scotland the Brave with his full pipes anytime soon around her, though!

Update: Emmy has a little friend named Naomi who is very close in age. Naomi’s mom, Christina, sent a photo of her daughter’s first attempt at solids recently that also didn’t go so well, so I thought I’d post it. The girls will be eating hamburgers together before you know it!