Life Experience Pearl

Parasitical people use you for emotional catharsis, drain you of your own life and then change nothing in their lives, claiming they are just going to “leave it in the Lord’s hands.” Those are code words many times for, “I’m too lazy, scared or just unwilling to do anything to change this.” Never make an unofficial contract with someone to be their emotional garbage can. If they don’t show the desire to do what they can to deal with a problem biblically, they will suck you dry and then abandon you in the end.

5 thoughts on “Life Experience Pearl

  1. DD says:

    Jesus Christ the Jewish Messiah is Lord of all

    Ingrid,
    God bless you and your familiy with His true Word, which is powerful and mighty, to the pulling down of strongholds. May we all in Christ have hearts to rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those that weep, by His Spirit, and through His Word. May we bless the Lord and allow His Spirit to comfort us in all our affliction. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

  2. christina says:

    Great words of wisdom Ingrid. Thank you for sharing this.

    “Never make an unofficial contract with someone to be their emotional garbage can.”

    I find myself in a situation like this. I have tried talking with the person but it never seems to end. How can someone handle this situation gently? Thanks

  3. Ingrid Schlueter says:

    I think the best thing is to be honest. Just prepare yourself for a potential non-gentle reaction, especially if you’ve established a long-term pattern of serving as the one whose advice is rejected. I said “unwritten contract” because it becomes an underlying presumption that both of you will fulfill your old roles. When that stops happening, resentment can follow. Sometimes it will show you the real crux of the propblem if you pull back in love and say, “I can’t serve in this role anymore. You are not taking any godly advice I’m giving. If you want help, you have to be willing to take steps to change your situation. When you refuse, it makes me realize that I’m just being used, and that’s not why I’m here.” It’s a fine line sometimes between helping someone and enabling them. I would really pray for discernment in how to handle it, but honesty is the most loving approach. It’s never easy to redefine boundaries with people, and it can end relationships at times, but we have to sometimes let go and let God deal with the person’s heart in their situation and get out of the way.

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