Just wrong for me on so many levels...
(Hope Blog readers, please pardon a lighter subject matter today.)
Buying a purse is a very individual thing for women. What one may find workable and attractive, another would never carry. Your purse can say a lot about you and where you are in your life.
I have had babies and children since 1987. Never did I have much time (or money) to worry about a wardrobe of handbags. Some women have dozens of purses to suit whatever they’re wearing. The rest of us don’t live that way. My collection has usually been very basic. One basic black leather, one basic brown leather and one clutch that would work for dress occasions. I learned if you buy as good quality as you can afford, the leather bags last for years.
The clutch thing makes me laugh. Back in 1998, I got invited to go to the CPAC conference in Chicago. I really did not want to go, but decided to make a weekend of it. There was a closing dinner preceded by an hors d’oeuvre reception, so I packed an appropriate (hopefully) outfit.
In Chicago I realized I only had my big brown mom purse with me. Duh. In the Omni hotel gift shop, I saw a very pretty gold colored clutch that wasn’t as expensive as I thought it would be. Rather then disgrace myself with my graham cracker crumb-filled brown monstrosity, I bought it, feeling smug that I had saved the day.
At the reception, the elegantly clad wife of a prominent civil liberties attorney sat down next to me on a window seat overlooking Michigan Avenue. I was attempting to look relaxed and casual, as if I did this kind of thing all the time. To my silent hilarity, she set her purse down next to me. It was a big brown monstrosity, just like the one I’d left in my hotel room! I never did find reason to use that gold clutch again. Mary used it to play dress up.
After years of carrying my life on my shoulder, and after years of back pain, I decided to do something radical a couple of weeks ago. I downsized. I got myself one of the neat little Baggallini zipper bags like
the one my sister-in-law had the last time I saw her. Everything in one, neat, tidy little bag. No more carrying $10 worth of change in the bottom of my purse (Tom has laughed at that for years), no more carrying a make-up bag with me as if I have ever needed to make-up anywhere but home, no more carrying of small toys, crackers, books, sippy cups, and the like. I am taking a stand for traveling light. If it doesn’t fit in my tidy zipper bag, I don’t need it.
(I asked myself why I was carrying the immunization card from my 24-year-old son in my wallet as well as the library card from Greenville, South Carolina’s library system when we’ve been living back in Wisconsin for 6 years.)
Emmy stuff will have to go in her sleek, small black bag, also downsized from the big pink thing I used to use. We’re traveling light. My shoulder is already thanking me! My Baggallini bag may not be stylish or fashionable, but who cares? I am light on my feet, and that feels very good!
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February 27, 2012 at 16:51
sunnypatchcottage
Amen! I see nothing wrong with a big “mommy bag”, if it’s needed! I carried basically a diaper bag for years, then carried a large purse until my son potty trained at 8 (autism) and the youngest finally potty trained at 5 (PDD NOS). My left shoulder hasn’t complained once since I let that old thing go! Oh, I still carry change, feminine products, scrunchies, a wallet with a few years old card for this or that (I’m not near as bad as hubby at hanging on to old cards tho–he has some from before his first marriage around 15 or more years ago, and dad carried things in his wallet from the 1950′s, all the way til 2000 when he passed, and they are STILL in his wallet–I just won’t take em out.)
I’ve never had a clutch, never really thought I could fit my necessities into one and be able to throw it over a shoulder.
But maybe when the children are grown and I one day find a nice event to go to (never been to any elegant things), one will find my wardrobe. 
February 27, 2012 at 17:03
Kris
Yes, the purse is definitely for each one’s individual taste. I’m a single
strap type gal who likes at least 1/2 dozen different compartments. I try to keep up with expired coupons and cards I may not use. The checkbook has to have it’s own excessible easy-to-get-to area. I just purchased a Baggallini last October. It’s the best purse ever. Even holds my camera and phone at the same time. There are so many to choose from in different colors, shapes and sizes for anyone’s needs. A little pricey, but will last forever. My shoulder thanks me as well AND that allows my hands to be free for shopping. Wooohooo!!! Kris
February 27, 2012 at 17:08
Ingrid Schlueter
Kris, I found one I liked on Amazon for half price what it was selling for on their website. Great deal.
February 27, 2012 at 17:17
carolynb
Hilarious and so true. Bags are a very personal thing for women. Here’s what my bags say:
All my bags must be on the smallish side, like you, it hurts to carry heaps of stuff. I like to travel light. The necessities only. Sometimes my husband tosses his cell phone in my purse, and I notice the added weight. LOL! Second, my bags must be fully zippered. I can’t stand any bag that doesn’t fully zip closed, nice and secure, every compartment. Why? Because I throw – and I do mean throw – my bags around decidedly un-delicately. And I don’t want my stuff falling out. Next, I like a quality material that will last, but am not intentionally label conscious. You won’t find me carrying the newest, hottest trend. But if a decent bag happens to have a “label” and the price isn’t outrageous, I’ll get it. My final requirement – one strap. That’s so I have one less strap to fall off my shoulder.
February 27, 2012 at 18:09
Lisa Green Kentala
It took me many years to realize the following:
1. never buy a purse that is heavy empty
2. Make sure the shoulder strap is comfortable and will stay put.
3. A zipper across the top is also important.
Every purse I buy has to pass those tests first!
February 27, 2012 at 21:52
Stephen Archer
I don’t have a purse, but I do have a wallet.
For men’s overnight bags, it might be the same sort of thing except it has to look either sporty to create effect, nifty but cool but not draw attention, the right sort of colour (nothing pink) etc.
It seems to me that the bigger the sporting bag, the better, the most convenient luggage the better.
Anything that would not let your guard down when in public.
Your post made me laugh, even though I am a man.
February 27, 2012 at 21:58
Cheryl
My sister shared a piece of fashion advice that she learned: “Carry a bag that is proportional to your body.”
Ack!! I don’t even want to think about what size purse I need to carry!
February 28, 2012 at 01:10
Ingrid Schlueter
Cheryl, that one made me laugh. Have you seen these enormous bags some are carrying (like the one on wheels in the pic?) I always wonder what women are carrying in those. A small nuclear device? A personal delicatessen? Hint: If you need it on wheels, you probably need to re-evaluate what you are carrying around, ha!
February 28, 2012 at 02:46
Christina
Thanks for this uplifting and lighthearted post! It seems like I only carried around a diaper bag for years! I finally was able to let that go now that I am DONE with diapers. I ended up having a wallet that attaches to my keys so I can unsnap it when needed. I always make sure I have pockets so I can stash my carmex in
March 2, 2012 at 18:28
julie
Ingrid, I had to laugh…so many of the things you write about I also experience. Just hope you have better luck than I did with this downsizing business. I tried it. I really did. So many cute purses out there these days that are petite and oh so light. So I took everything out of the big purse and decided against everything that wouldn’t fit in the little one….except my wallet, reading glasses, keys, sunglasses, kleenex, brush, lipstick, cell phone, tracts, pocket bible…do you see where I’m going with this? Pretty soon my poor little purse was bulging. It looked pregnant! Then my husband started asking me if I would carry his snack bar, his reading glasses, etc. That was the end of the little bag – I was back with the big bag. The last time I went shopping I could not find a medium size bag that I liked. So I went even bigger! I have all kinds of room in my new bag – but at least it is just big and not bulging You are going to laugh at this. It is so big that I need small bags inside to organize my stuff so it won’t become a jumbled mess! Yikes. ! I also went looking for a clutch to take out to the symphony at Christmastime. They can be just as expensive as purses! And good luck finding one that matches your shoes or at least doesn’t clash with your outfit. I see now why the Bible tells us not to make these things our focus, but instead our inner self. Because if you did you could certainly find the outer beauty to be a full-time job!
March 2, 2012 at 18:55
Ingrid Schlueter
Yes, this downsizing thing with purses takes some getting used to. I’m thinking I just transferred everything to Emily’s bigger bag now! Not sure that’s progress, LOL. As for a clutch for the symphony, don’t worry. Things are getting so casual these days, that I saw a biker chic (make that chick–nothing chic about it) at the last MSO concert with her biker partner who sported a studded type dog collar. I’m thinking of just wearing pj’s and a robe next concert as it will speed up getting ready for bed when I get home. Seriously, there aren’t many venues where dressing up is done anymore. Dressing up means wearing your best NFL jersey, I guess. I’m still old school and try to show respect for the musicians (and myself) by putting some effort in. I am a throwback to an earlier era, I think.
March 2, 2012 at 21:30
Lisa Green Kentala
I actually laughed reading your comment about wearing pj’s and a robe to the next concert.
I’m with you – there is NO occasion that requires dressing up anymore – even weddings. I’ve seen people wearing sweatpants and flip flops! I try to look tasteful and dress for the event, but many people don’t anymore – and this trend started over 20 years ago. Just when I think people can’t dress more casual – they figure out a way to look even worse!
March 2, 2012 at 22:58
carolyn
Ingrid, you are so right! Even schools, everything is super casual. I drove by a local high school at dismissal time a few weeks ago, and the teens coming out looked like they were ACTUALLY wearing their jammies! They all had sloppy sweatshirts and baggy flannel bottoms as their attire. I was floored. It seemed so utterly inappropriate. I guess we can all be fashion anachronisms together.
March 3, 2012 at 13:13
Margaret L. Been
Does that ever resonate! Just last Sunday after church, I was rummaging for my car key so that our grandson could bring the car to the church door for me. (Sweet guy!
)
Anyway, I ended up kneeling on the floor–not praying, but emptying the contents of my saddlebag in order to produce the car key. I commented to the amused onlookers, “Isn’t it great that we won’t need purses in Heaven?!”