Dealing With Toxic People Part 2

This isn’t intended to be a Bible study or a comprehensive article on dealing with those people in our lives who seem to be at war with the world. This post is a follow-up to my original post last year on the necessity of drawing boundaries with people who seem to delight in tormenting others, creating chaos and refusing to reconcile.

Due to the length of what I want to say, I am going to have to continue this into a Part 3 that will deal with how to properly deal with these people when you are pulled into their orbit. This portion is an overview of toxic individuals in the home and ministry.

If it’s a sad thing to witness in the world at large, it is even more tragic and horrifying to see this kind of conduct among those who claim to be Christians. I explained in the last post that by “toxic”, I am not referring to people who let you down, annoy you or who tend to pop your cork occasionally because of personality traits.

It bears repeating that we are all sinners before God, (Romans 3:23, Jeremiah 17:9) and that as Luther put it, “We daily sin much.” That is the wonderful thing about repentance and contrition. We can find forgiveness through Jesus Christ and help in our lives so that our sin patterns don’t become a permanent stumbling block for somebody else.

All of us have encountered those people best described as one man/one woman destruction machines. In families, this is usually manifested by behavior that tries to control, that incessantly tears another down, that manipulates through guilt, that denies the needs of others as a matter of practice, and that first, last and always is about SELF.

One of the most helpful books I have read about people like that is Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism, by Sandy Hotchkiss. Here’s is a list of the traits that describe these people:

Shamelessness

Magical Thinking

Arrogance

Envy

Entitlement

Exploitation

Bad Boundaries

I won’t take time to go into what the author says about these things, (please read the book), but most of us who have been in close proximity to someone whose inflated sense of self is destroying the lives of others will recognize some or all of these traits.

Toxic People in Families

While some people walk into this kind of individual on the job, at school or other outside situation, it is even harder when you have someone like this in your family of professing Christians.

A toxic husband and father who claims to be a Christian contributes to the destruction of the faith of his children. To be forced to sit and listen to Bible verses and devotionals being read by someone who mistreats his wife makes a mockery of the words he reads. Give children credit for seeing through this from the earliest possible age. I have advice for men who want to live lives of selfishness, arrogance, unforgiveness or abusiveness towards the mother of their children. Put your Bible away. Nobody’s listening to you, sir. And if your kids turn out to be atheists, you have yourself to thank for it.

I mentioned toxic “Christian” fathers, but obviously, the same is true for mothers. Mothers who say they follow Jesus, but live for self in relationships with their spouse and children are equally damaging.

Any claim of Christianity that isn’t accompanied by vital change in conduct is worthless and fraudulent.  No, Christians are not perfect. They sin and fall down and make mistakes. But the hallmark of a follower of Jesus should be the willingness to ask for forgiveness, to forgive others and to show the love of Jesus through humility.

Christianity is not just the memorizing of “correct” positions on moral issues, memorizing the Ten Commandments, and so forth. It is a relationship with Jesus Christ that completely changes you and your perspective. A Christian no longer lives for self, but for God, the author of love. That is why our lives should be marked by love.

While toxic Christians usually focus on moral sins like adultery, stealing, murder, etc., they ignore the first table of the Law that deals with things like idolatry and loving the Lord God FIRST in our lives. Toxic people, “Christian” or otherwise, can be summed up as those who are idolaters to self. They’ve erected an idol to their own egos, and they bow low before that idol each and every day of their lives.

(Ironically, these same self-idolaters would be the first ones to praise handing out religious tracts to Mormons or Muslims and everyone else they would label a religious idolater.  There’s another god in the pantheon and it’s spelled ME.)

Toxic People in Ministry

It is no secret that there is a high number of toxic individuals in what’s called Christian ministry. I don’t care what denomination or sect you are in, ministry, the pastorate in particular, is a prime location for these people to land. The reason is simple. The pastorate or elder board is a place of authority. Narcissists love control, and what better place to find new victims and exalt your own ego than as “Brother Fred” or “Father Fred”, “Elder Fred”, or “Pastor Fred”?

Evangelical churches are seeing a new wave of these kind of hip young pastors who are egos on steroids. Through New Media, the new celebrity pastors can be as toxic as they want to be and still have a following. One such toxic ‘rock star’ celebrity pastor from Grapevine, Texas was just outed on the local news station for his lavish spending. This gel-haired wonder is followed by thousands who have built him into an international name. He jets around the world, posts his daily agenda on YouTube in his bathrobe (with carefully styled bed-head hair) and assumes that millions hang on his every word.

He’s toxic. Beware of these men in the ministry who are all about self as they sit on Twitter, tweeting their every amazing thought.

Lower level toxic people in ministry can also do a lot of damage. I call it the Fred Phelps Syndrome. The truly horrific slaughter of 51 million babies in the womb in this country has led to activism. Unfortunately, that activism has produced some self-anointed “Brother Fred” type pastors who have no business in ministry. This is no criticism of those faithful pastors who decry the moral ruin of this country and who stand for the sanctity of human life publicly. I am referring to some personally damaged individuals who do not have the loving heart of a pastor. They are individuals without training or accountability who have enjoyed a taste of leadership while in activism and want to make it permanent by creating their own self-styled churches.

The hallmarks of this kind of ministry are unbalanced messages (much Law and no grace) and a track record of destroyed relationships. Anyone in any kind of church or para-church ministry is going to make enemies. I am talking about a consistent pattern of unreconciled personal issues with others that results in persistent, malicious conduct. (In Phelps’ case, outright Satanic hatred for others.)

Attempts at reconciliation with such people are greeted with contempt and further attacks. Years ago, I sent one such individual an apology over my tone in our disagreement. An hour later, my fax machine spit out two full pages of  personal attacks that were way, way below the belt. (I guess the man wanted me to have a hard copy, so he faxed it.) I realized that moment 10 years ago what is confirmed today: He doesn’t want reconciliation. In fact, these toxic religious people consider it a sign of their own rectitude that they DON’T reconcile with their antagonists. That would be unbiblical compromise. And so the self-delusion goes.

After our family moved to South Carolina five years ago, we began attending a church with a pastor who was well-known in certain circles for his expository preaching. We were excited to be there, but slightly puzzled about some things we experienced with some of the church leadership. There was a coolness there that was unmistakable, even after several months.

The story finally came out. The same toxic man who continued to harbor a grudge had heard of our arrival at the church and had personally contacted the pastor to “warn” him about us as “ecumenical compromisers.” While the pastor claimed he hadn’t believed the testimony, we knew that the damage had been done because of what we had experienced. Our names had been smeared by an angry, bitter individual who deluded himself into thinking he was “standing for righteousness” by slandering us.

Malice is the hallmark of these kinds of toxic “Christians.” Thankfully, we were able to clear up some things with the church leadership regarding this man’s malicious testimony and ongoing conduct. But the lesson is clear: toxic Christian leaders and self-anointed pastors are highly destructive.

As Christians we are told in Scripture not to “strive”, to live as much as possible in peace with all around us, and to be “tender-hearted, forgiving one another.” So how, with this biblical teaching in view, do we handle things?

I will start answering this question and continue it over into my next post. When you are in a situation with a professing Christian who has engaged in a pattern of abusive and malicious conduct, without remorse and without willingness to reconcile, you need to protect yourself from them. It’s that plain.

Jesus Christ said the following in the Gospel of Matthew 7, verse 6.

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”

When your heart craves peace and reconciliation with someone, and you take that humble heart to the other party only to be effectively cursed and further abused, you are taking what is precious and casting it before dogs.

We have to forgive these people who behave like selfish beasts while professing Christ, but we are not obligated to continue to give them opportunity for grinding our “pearls” under their feet and attacking anew.

The enemy of souls loves conflict and enjoys nothing more than creating emotional and spiritual chaos in our lives. When we endlessly poke around ruined relationships with toxic people or fight back, engage in flaming emails or even engage in constant back and forth arguing to try to get such a person to see your point, we are not enjoying the peace of Christ to which we are called.

My sister once said that in dealing with toxic people, you need to “cut them out of your emotional framework.” She didn’t mean that you don’t care about the person or pray for them. What she was talking about was working on developing a mindset that will not allow the individual to raise your blood pressure or push your buttons. How? By simply not communicating with them unnecessarily, (marking and avoiding a professing Christian who is disorderly), not engaging in game playing, not rewarding their guilt manipulation by feeling guilty, and not giving them further fodder to hurt you by casting your pearls. Give the pearls to your Heavenly Father in prayer and let Him keep them instead. He sees what has transpired, and He alone can break through pride and heal the toxic heart.

While in some cases it is possible to cut off communication with those who are chronically quarrelsome and divisive, in others it isn’t. I’m going to talk about that situation in my next post on this subject.

21 thoughts on “Dealing With Toxic People Part 2

  1. Oh, how I wish I had read this several years ago. I went through an experience in a church that I first thought involved some lack of communication. As I tried to clarify things it became worse. My husband stepped in to help and we went through months of trying to reconcile and work things out. I felt I had to honor Christ by being committed to reconciliation and I kept thinking surely as a pastor, he must be committed to laying aside his defenses and pride and trying to work things out. The culmination was heartrending and we left.

    This is so true:

    The hallmarks of these kind of people in ministry are their unbalanced messages (much Law and no grace) and their track record of destroyed relationships.

    It is confirming that you mention a book on narcissism. During that period of time I read some books on church abuse and one author mentioned these leaders as narcissists. That sent me to the library for more reading. Although I began to understand what was going on, the damage that was done to me emotionally and spiritually was immense, I think in part because it was so difficult for me to grasp the dissonance between the right sounding words and the wrong actions.

  2. Your comments are so true Ing. Certainly the Lord has set
    a time for the end. These signs are proclaimed, written, and coming true. It is sad to think that you can’t even trust these so called “ministers of Christ.” It seems
    that they are in it for themselves, the money, and fame.
    Looking forward to the next post…Kris

  3. Great post! I like what you said about toxic people in ministry. They can do so much damage in the name of Christ. I look forward to reading more on this subject. It seems most people know at least 1 toxic person in their life. Thank you for bringing this to light.

  4. This is an aspect of toxic people I hadn’t really thought about. Yet, I have been affected personally many times by toxic people in churches and although I am more resilient to such toxicity, I know others who gave up on their walk because of the hurt and disappointment they encountered in such an environment.
    The damage these toxic people do can have eternal consequences for both themselves and their victims.

  5. We’ve had a few mothers at my son’s grade school who are almost sociopathic in their dealings with others. One mother had been stealing thousands of dollars from our school PTO (she was the President of course), yet it took several years before the principal realized it – despite the fact that several other mothers had voiced suspicions. Toxic people are excellent manipulators and know just the right thing to say to the right people. They crave attention and control and feel they deserve respect, money and power because they are “smarter” than everyone. They gravitate to leadership roles in politics, religion or business.

  6. Ingrid,

    Thank you so much for dealing with this topic! My husband and I were members of a church for 16 years. Sadly, our founding pastor had to resign because of health issues. The new pastor seemed fine at first, but a darker side of his personality immerged. He was arrogant and dismissive toward those members working in church ministries; he closely guarded his time, demanding that people make appointments to see him on even small matters. When he arrived, our congregation numbered somewhere around 200 +; it has shrunk to less than 50. We left the church after over a year of soul searching. We still see the pastor and his family around town; he tends to avoid us when he can. I pray for him and especially for his family. I hope that this once vibrant church doesn’t become another property on the auction block, and I pray for all those who’ve been hurt by this “pastor”.

  7. Ingrid:
    Thanks for the time and effort you take to write these articles. There is such a “show grace and love unconditionally” in the world and church today. Rarely, if ever, do we confront anyone about their sin. Loving confrontation is the biblical response; it is not godly to let people continue on in their rebellion toward God. In fact, it often reflects the fact we actually hate the person and don’t love them. Sad commentary really.

  8. Thank you for biblically-sound counsel on an increasing problem. I’m looking forward to your next article, where I hope you’ll address the topic of being married to such a person.

  9. P.S.
    How do you “cut them out of your emotional framework,” when you’re “one?”

  10. Ditto to Deborah’s comments. Please don’t keep us waiting ’til next year for next post on the subject. :)

  11. The fact is when men consistently violate their marriage vows to love, honor and cherish, they are destroy that oneness, so you’re not one. I am close to a situation right now that entails a man violating his Christian wife in just about every way. They aren’t one. He put the marriage asunder and has destroyed it in God’s eyes. His wife looks for nothing from him, identifies his ranting lies for what they are and refuses to listen – walks out on it because he has chosen to play the role of the accuser in her life. Satan is the accuser of the brethren, not God. When men want to take that role, we are allowed to protect our hearts and minds the best we can.

    I will tell you that in my experiences of the past with this kind of situation, I also refused to listen to lies coming at me. I knew I was a sinner, but I was not what was being said. How is God glorified from a woman spending life sitting there sobbing into a hanky while playing the role of a punching bag for an abusive man who tears his own house down around himself? I will write the next post later this week. I’m slammed for time as my son is graduating college Friday with a dinner on Saturday. He’s leaving to move to Colorado Sunday. :’-(

    I’ll get it up as soon as possible.

  12. Hi Ingrid. So happy you are dealing with this topic!

    I think there is another kind of “toxic” person, but one who probably doesn’t mean to be toxic.

    This is the extreme extrovert who talks non-stop, and hogs the conversation with her own personal life and family issues and agendas–never pausing to consider that someone else might have a life, or a right to share in a conversation.

    (I say “her” because I don’t know any men who do that–just women.)

    These people are so exhausting to be around, especially when our health and energy is limited, and yet–as my sweet mother used to say–“They mean well.”

    (I wish I could be even one-tenth as patient inside as my mother was!)

    What do you do when a nice friendly person, whom you can’t avoid, has the potential to drive you nuts?

    I guess a sense of humor helps me as much as anything. People like that are similar to untrained puppies (especially of large breeds such as the golden retriever)–outgoing, loving, and friendly, yet thoroughly exhausting to be around because of their uncontrolled energy and mouth.

    Like an untrained puppy will do in real life, these folks metaphorically jump on us, knock us over, lick our face, slobber all over the place, and walk on us when we let them!

    So I try to concentrate on praying and maintaining a sense of humor. :) But it’s an ongoing challenge!

  13. Oh Margaret, you are so right. In some cases, it may be the puppy-type conduct where they are just socially clueless and insensitive to how they come across, but in others, that kind of conduct is really a red flag for other issues, I think. I had frequent exposure to such a lady who literally sucked the life and oxygen out of every room she went in. Her loud, penetrating voice filled the room as she talked non-stop. I would literally feel myself sag in her presence spiritually. Where the voice was heard, it ruled. It was actually a form of control. This individual was insecure and very fearful of people seeing certain things in her life as imperfect, so her solution was to dominate the room with her voice and control the dynamics. Nobody else really existed except as as a sort of cardboard cutout audience. No amount of negative body language phased her. She did not know how to take a hint. It was sad to see that and exhausting, as you put it. Good conversation has a flow based on mutual consideration, and people like this are so full of themselves that they don’t care about anyone else.

  14. Ingrid and Margaret – your comments are spot on!
    The woman who stole from our school WAS one of those hyper friendly types! She made friends with everyone – even though it was superficial.
    We currently have a similar behaving mom running our PTO at school (leadership jobs attract these types). She is bossy and a know it all, cracking jokes and VERY loud. You don’t want to anger this type of woman – they blow up as easily as they act friendly. I’ve been actually depressed lately because it makes it unpleasant to help out at school. The only cure is to stay away.
    These types of women need an audience at all times – and suck the life from anyone they can.
    It’s extreme self-centeredness and denial that others feelings matter.

  15. Thanks to the toxic reader who continually attempts to post her savory comments on here. I appreciate you making my point. Please get help before you hurt someone.

  16. Ingrid,

    Didn’t know where to put this comment – and by all means since it’s too long, there’s really no need to post. This is just something more for you personally to consider, perhaps? I’ve been wondering if you’d ever consider doing a blog on the opposite topic. Rather than how to deal with and forgive toxic people, I was wondering if you’d write about what to do when a Christian brother or sister refuses to reconcile with you when you have repented.

    Due to two very painful personal situations, I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now, and I can say that the only conclusion I have come to is that it is utterly inexcusable for a believer to fail to reconcile with someone who is truly repentant. Nothing spits on the blood of Jesus Christ like failure to reconcile with a penitent brother or sister.

    In a Q&A article by John MacArthur, he writes,

    “Lastly, any time an offense results in a broken relationship, confrontation of the sinner should occur. Any offense that causes a breach in relationships simply cannot be overlooked. Both the offense and the breach must be confronted, and reconciliation must be sought. And both the offended party and the offender have a responsibility to seek reconciliation (Luke 17:3; Matt. 5:23-24). There is never any excuse for a Christian on either side of a broken relationship to refuse to pursue reconciliation.

    The only instance where such a conflict should remain unresolved is if all the steps of discipline in Matthew 18 have been exhausted and the guilty party still refuses to repent.”

    http://www.gty.org/Resources/Questions/QA154_How-can-we-know-when-it-is-best-to-forgive-or-confront

    I have been thinking of two passages of Scripture. First, the well-known prodigal son story of Luke 15. The younger son, once he realizes his sin, humbles himself and comes back to seek forgiveness from his father. But he barely can finish his prepared speech. The father had been looking for him all along, runs to greet him, and boldly rejoices over his son that is now found. The lavish acceptance of the penitent son is a beautiful picture of how God accepts us when we turn to Christ in repentance and faith. And it goes without saying, this example should be modeled by believers.

    The other passage that has come to mind but only recently is found in 2 Corinthians 2:6-8. Here, a sinning believer had been put out of fellowship, but repented. Paul’s instruction to the church is noteworthy: the church was to openly accept and welcome the penitent believer, so that (here’s the ticket) ***the believer who had sinned is not overwhelmed with excessive sorrow***.

    When I read that, my heart almost dropped out of my chest. Refusal to reconcile with a repentant soul actually causes that person to excessively sorrow. A believer who refuses to reconcile with a penitent friend is not demonstrating the grace of Christ, but rather, is acting like the devil. Furthermore, refusal to reconcile is a way to punish someone for something that they have confessed and repented, a sin that has been forgiven and cleansed by Christ (1 John 1:9). What an insult to our Lord! Refusal to reconcile is a grievous sin.

    I write this because I had a dear sister in Christ whom I sinned against. Instead of confronting my sin, she shut me completely out of her life, and to this day still refuses to speak to me. I repented of that sin and begged for forgiveness over 16 months ago. I had to ask another believer who knows my friend if she has forgiven me, and he claims she has forgiven me. But then I ask, why still the silence? Why has she refused reconciliation? How is she demonstrating Christ to me? Actions speak louder than words, and the excessive sorrow from the lack of reconciliation has been and still is a burden in my heart.

    If my situation were the story in Luke 15, it would have a radically different ending: the prodigal daughter repents, returns to the father to ask for forgiveness, but with a despondent heart has been knocking on the door for well over a year, because the father hasn’t answered yet…

    Anyways, thanks for listening. Grace and peace to you in Christ.

  17. This article made me think of a situation involving a toxic person who was ruining a women’s Bible study. It was handled badly because no one wanted to confront her. They devised a novel way of ousting her by changing the starting hour to a time when she would be at work. She was so devastated that she left the church.

  18. Hi there, I am BRAND new to your blog… as in, I found it tonight. I found it via a search on how to forgive toxic people from a Christian perspective. Yeah… I have a relevant situation. God has really been hammering me lately about forgiveness. I WANT to be obedient. I just dont know how to go about it.

    Feels kinda weird to just JUMP RIGHT IN here, but… I’m hoping you can give me food for thought.

    When God wants to get my attention, I get “repeaters”… same message different sources (some very unlikely)… so yeah… repeater meter = OFF THE CHARTS. I’ve also been looking up every scripture I can find on the topic. He has been working on me with regards to my abusive ex for quite some time. I’m now able to see him as a deeply wounded soul and feel compassion. I’m thankful. In recent weeks, God has turned my attention to my sister. I am not angry at her and I DO forgive her. I feel He wants me to write to her, but I dont know WHAT to say and I told the Lord that HE would have to give me the words.

    I’ve never read the book you mentioned (7 deadly sins of narcissism), but I can say with confidence that she exemplefies nearly all of those listed. I’m not sure what is meant by magical thinking, but if that means CREATING an offense where none was intended or actually occurred, then yes, we have a winner across the board.

    My sister is a Christian. She can be a WONDERFUL, kind, generous, loving, shirt-off-her-back human being. She is also deeply wounded and she wraps those woundings around her like a burial shroud… and I fear that’s what it will eventually be. I love her. I miss her. But… I cant just send a “thinking of you” card as a friend suggested. I feel I need to address the prevalent pattern that is woven in and throughout our relationship and I dont know how. Failure to address it just means this will play it out AGAIN. I cant even write her on facebook because she recently blocked me for not responding to her comment in a conversation I was having with a friend about weather. I had to shut my computer down as the storm arrived. I didnt know she’d commented until late that night on my cel phone when I saw it. I also saw her complaint, ” Isn’t it great how some people ask your opinion (I didnt) and then dont respond when you give them the answer?” My thought was, “I wonder who she’s on about now…” with no clue it was ME.The next morning, I realized she’d deleted me.

    So the pattern is: we get along until I say or do something “intentionally” to wound her… but its not just me. Over the years its been both my husbands, my kids, other relatives, her kids, her friends (real life and facebook) etc etc etc. Mind you, “getting along” means she gets to tease me unmercifully (often unkindly), put me down, treat me like I’m stupid, and repeatedly overstep not only MY boundaries, but also my husband’s and my adult daughters’… anyone connected with me. After the slight (inadvertent or FULL ON IMAGINED), she attacks… slanderously and vitriolically. She’s very intelligent and knows what buttons to push. Its very hurtful. If it was private and only directed at me, that would be one thing. But she has extended this to MY family (whom she doesnt really know (I was disowned for 13 years when I married my ex) and who are not inclined to tolerate abuse) AND she now employs social media to make sure everyone in our extended family (and her wide circle of “friends” – some of whom are mine in real life) KNOWS what a miserable excuse for a human being I, or my husband, or my kids are. Then she doesnt talk to me for a couple of months until she’s ready to “forgive” me (aka act like nothing ever happened and I’m supposed to do the same). This has happened over and over again. For years, I played by her rules. I knew there was a pattern, but I tried to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting her (which didnt work). I learned that I cant tease her at all, EVER or be myself really for fear of upsetting the apple cart.

    This continued UNTIL my hysterectomy. In the waiting room, my husband (who is socially clueless sometimes, but is kind, humble and would never intentionally hurt someone) said he liked that I dont wear makeup because he thought I was pretty without it. Unfortunately, he didnt notice that she was putting on makeup at the time. OF COURSE he was REALLY saying that she was ugly, right? So yeah, post op I’m dealing with the blow up. I was NOT well physically. During the process of trying to mend fences, I realized that, no matter HOW many times we told her he didnt MEAN to insult her, how many times he apologized, or how carefully crafted the response; she would continue to find fault, spiral and escalate until she wore herself out. It was pretty horrific. Even my mom tried to defend my us so she didnt speak to her… and my mom is not in good health and NEEDS my sister (she’s close by, I’m 4 hours away). So I made the decision NOT to respond. That was in November 2011. True to pattern she deleted my husband on FB, didnt speak to me for several months and THEN started poking me and occasionally interjecting comments in my conversations with others… like nothing ever happened. At first I didnt respond and then ONLY occasionally in a very reserved, arms length manner. Its been that way since so the recent incident surprised me. So yeah… I dont think Hallmark has me covered on this one. Even now, in an attempt to reconcile, if I just say, “I forgive you,” it will be taken as an offense… regardless of how carefully I choose my words.

    That being said, the Lord is making it clear to me that I must forgive. I’ve been working on that. I DO see the wounded soul, I know the reasons why. (I originally included the history of the why, but this is way too long as it is), and I have compassion. I DO forgive her. But the verse “leave your offering and go and be reconciled” haunts me. How do I do that? I WANT to be obedient. I WANT to be closer to God. I understand that the reason He’s ON me about it is that THAT is blocking not only His forgiveness of me(if I fail to forgive), but also intimacy with Him. Not to mention unforgiveness is very bad for you… the fruit of it is NOT love, joy, peace… I would dearly LOVE to see my sister healed from her unforgiveness. I would love to have a relationship with her, but I can no longer have it at my husband’s or childrens OR my self-worth’s expense. Honestly, its a lot easier on me to be estranged, emotionally and I worry that she will rebuff me – not for ME, but for her.

    Can you tell I’ve put a lot of thought, prayer, and study into this? Please know I dont go OVER this stuff anymore (that serves no good purpose)… only did so tonight because I think its relevant background info for you all. I USED to… God’s been moving me along.

    I am terribly sorry this is so long.

    Can you share your prayerful thoughts in this matter? Would you also PLEASE agree in prayer with me that NOT ONLY will God give me the words (and SHUT MY MOUTH/cramp my hands) if I go off on a tangent that is not His will, BUT ALSO that He will prepare my sisters heart to receive the message He wants sent?

    Thank you in advance for the above. Thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing from you. God Bless you!

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