mountmaryTomorrow night is my last class of the semester. It has been interesting getting back into the student mode again after so many years of   motherhood. I thought I’d list a few things I experienced in the last few months in returning to the college where I started out years ago. Some experiences were expected, some unexpected.

1. I have never quite gotten over the surprising sense of melancholy that envelopes me walking the same halls I walked over 24 years ago when I was right out of high school. I never anticipated how strong it would be. Around each corner and down each corridor, memories lurk. Very little has changed at the school over the years and so I pass doors of classrooms where I had this class or that back so long ago, and I find myself perpetually wondering where Ingrid, the girl, went. I pass classroom doors and I wonder, “Where did Sister Mary Frances Therese go? Shouldn’t she be in there, getting ready for class?” She has been dead many years now. Many of the students in my class are the same age as my own older children, and that rattles me.

2. Getting back into the studying and preparing for class took more effort than I thought. I was afflicted with anxiety that I couldn’t cut it and do what was required. Writing the first paper, I found myself panicking. “I can’t do this!” I thought more than once.  At one point, I was ready to quit after facing a project I couldn’t seem to get right. I emailed the teacher and she wrote back a stern note. “So, the first new thing comes along and you’re ready to throw in the towel?” she asked. Gulp. Her words had a bracing effect on me, and I plowed onward. (I got an A on the project in the end!)

3. I genuinely enjoyed the other students in the class. Being somewhat shy in group settings, I thought that it would be difficult to get to know anybody. But the small groups we broke into gave me an opportunity to meet some genuinely interesting women, many of whom are returning students like I am. One came over especially to show me a magazine article she had just had published. Her first. It was a great to meet other women my age who have goals they want to accomplish and who are working hard to achieve them.

I have decided to go back again this spring semester. (“Spring semester” sounds so optimistic when we have snow piled high until late March here!) My next class is in editing and publishing. I know my weaknesses in the editing department, and in that I publish two blogs, I thought this class would help with all the written communication I have to do for my job. Best of all, it’s not an evening class, so maybe the melancholy will lift a bit. Walking the halls on cold, dark winter nights doesn’t help. My goal is to keep working at becoming an excellent writer. I have seen the power of the written word over the years, and I want to work at improving in this area.

I recently sat behind the organ at an afternoon concert, and watched the amazing musician at work. In the program, I noticed that it said the organist, age 70, studies with another prominent organist in the area. It was encouraging to me to see that no matter what age we are, we all can be students, striving to learn and to do the very best we can with whatever talent God has given us. The learning never stops, and as we share what we learn, hopefully, the blessing of others never stops until God calls us home.

If you are thinking of breaking out of the box in some area of your life and trying something new, don’t be afraid to try it. I was pretty nervous about going back to class, but my husband encouraged me to launch out. Even if it isn’t what you thought, at least you have the knowledge that you gave it a try!